So there I was, driving down Broadway, as I do from time to time. When I'm passing by the mall area, I'm reminded that today is the day for IHOP's grand opening. Not by a laser light show, or remote broadcast (HINT HINT) or a big sign or anything. Nope, it was by a gigantic, smiling pancake.

IHOP Giant Pancake
Townsquare Media

Now, as he was a gigantic pancake, I had no choice but to dump a barrel, yes an entire barrel, of sweet delicious maple syrup on him. And now he's stuck to the sidewalk, encased in that processed tree sap. In 65 million years, scientists will extract his DNA and build a theme park based on the ancient pancake monsters that used to roam the land. And then the pancake monster will eat everyone.

Anyway, go check out IHOP! They opened this morning! I enjoy eating breakfast foods at all times of day, so this will be absolutely perfect for me.

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