Wahlburgers Coming To Quincy… Sort Of
For the purposes of this blog, imagine it's in a Boston accent. The vowels are flat, the r's are dropped, there's an F-Bomb every fifth word, and instead of punctuation, I just yell GO SOX! Just trying to set the mood, but without having to type this phonetically Bostonian.
Of all the celebrity themed restaurants in the world, Wahlburgers is easily the most cleverly named. And as I am a fan all iterations of the Wahlbergs, from Mark to Donnie to Bobby to Artie to Jimmie to Pauly to Debbie to Scotty to Shellie to Tracy... all of them. From "New Kids on the Block" to "and The Funkybunch," from the guy who SPOILER ALERT shot Bruce Willis at the start of The Sixth Sense (Donnie) to the guy who SPOILER ALERT shot Matt Damon at the end of The Departed (Mark).
I'm just fan of the Wahlbergs. And I'm a fan of burgers, aka European Tacos. So I've been itching for the chance to try a Wahlburger, but I've never been in a city with one. I just don't get to Cleveland as much as I used to. Yeah... Cleveland has a Wahlburgers, but not St. Louis. So that's why I was "wicked stoked" when I saw this:
HyVee is carrying official Wahlburger patties. Now I don't have to drive all the way to Cincinnati for a Wahlburger (yeah... Cincinnati has one, Chicago doesn't). I can just go to HyVee, pick up a pack of these patties, drive to Sam's house, fire up her grill because I don't have one in my apartment, open a case of Sam Adams, pass out, wake up, re-fire up the grill, and 10 minutes later enjoy a nice juicy Wahlburger.
I don't know what the difference between their branded patties and just regular patties are, but I would assume that if I tried to eat one while watching a Yankees game, it would call me several unkind expletives, then try to steal my girlfriend. As is the Boston way.
It's not surprising HyVee would continue their relationship with the Wahlbergs, as the Marky Mark workout supplements have been a huge success for both the grocery chain and the star of Transformers: The Last Knight.