Illinois Man Assaults Daffy Duck at Six Flags St. Louis
Police arrested a presumably intoxicated man at Six Flags St. Louis for allegedly assaulting and yelling profanities at….(oh god, seriously? This can’t be real, right? Ugh, fine, I’ll type it)….Daffy Duck.
According to a report by KMOV, a 19-year-old Six Flags employee donning a Daffy Duck costume (you didn’t think it was the real Daffy Duck, did you?) had the bill of his costume grabbed while being pushed and verbally assaulted by the 23-year-old in question who reportedly used….ahem…fowl language.
“Thith ith thhherious! I will not thhhtand for it!” said the mallard-portraying employee according to a quote I thought was funny and literally just made up.
Police say the suspect, a real quack who had perhaps thrown back a few swigs of Michael’s Secret Stuff just prior, thought that grabbing one by the bill was allowed as he saw others doing it. To make matters worse for the man who is possibly Elmer Fudd (and believe me when I say we’re looking into it), it’s not duck season. It’s wabbit season.