For Chicken Wings: Blue Cheese or Ranch Dressing?
As we as a city come together for the annual festival of wings, aka WingFest 2018, we must settle the age old debate that has plagued philosophers and chefs for centuries: Do you eat Blue Cheese or Ranch dressing with your wings.
The only types of each we had in our fridge at work
I'm gonna go ahead and spoil this for you that Blue Cheese is the correct answer, Ranch is symbolic of everything that is wrong with our world, and you should feel bad for even thinking this is a debate. It's not. Blue Cheese goes with wings because it tastes better, it enhances the flavor of the wings. Ranch is, at best, lightly seasoned mayonnaise. It does nothing. It just sits there like a glob killing any and all flavor in the wing.
Blue cheese is a complementary flavor. The sharpness of the cheese counter's the spicy of the wing, without completely killing it. And when you're eating celery with it and you get that crumble in there and it just tastes so perfect.
You don't get that with ranch. You don't. You just don't. It's just a bowl or a bottle or a tub of creamy goo that just sits there not contributing to the Chicken Wing conversation at all. It detracts from the conversation. It is a Chicken Wing conversation killer. And if you like Ranch with your wings, I want you to know that you are weak, your bloodline is weak, and you won't survive the winter.
So my message to everyone out there who is heading to WingFest 2018, both as attendees and vendors, is get your blue cheese on. If you've gotta bring your own personal bottle of blue cheese, so be it, that's what I'm doing. But I'll be damned if I let faux-fancy mayonnaise sully the good name of the wings. I don't need that kind of negativity in my life.
I bet you thought there was going to be a poll down here at the bottom, didn't you? Well... you lost that bet. No poll. Because again, it's not a debate. Blue Cheese is better than ranch. Scientific fact.
Hashtag Blue Cheese for Life.