Now I've only been in Quincy for a hair over two years. I haven't had time to familiarize myself with every tiny little city ordinance. I think for the most part I'm living compliant. There's probably some weird obscure laws about beards at a certain length or something. But in the immortal words of Rage Against the Machine, "[expletive deleted] YOU! I WON'T DO WHAT YOU TELL ME!"

Anyway, a former vet, as in veterinarian, not veteran, was issued a citation for possession of an exotic animal, according to our good friends over at WGEM. So I cracked open the Quincy Municipal Codebook to look into this issue, and it turns you, there's a whole slew of animals you can't have. The article in question is Title IX, Chapter 90, Section 90.095 Subsection L, and I quote: "Reptiles which are poisonous or life-threatening, including indigenous venomous snakes. For purposes of this division, a life threatening reptile shall include without limitation any member of the crocodilian family and any constricting snake six feet or greater in length." (emphasis mine)

So just so we're all on the same page. Jake "The Snake" Roberts at 6'5", with his signature sleeper hold, is not allowed within the city limits of Quincy. Meanwhile, Kurt "Snake Plissken" Russell at 5'11" is more than welcome to hang out at Blues in the District.

Escape from New York DVD

Those aren't the only types of animals you can't have. That whole section is about "inherently dangerous animals." Large cats, bears, jungle animals, prairie animals, hippos, rhinos, among many others. Of note, nothing that says I can't own a platypus, which is venomous. Granted their venom probably won't kill you, it's just like a bee sting. Pretty dangerous for dogs and cats though.

You can have a permit for those restricted animals, but you probably have to be like... Jack Hannah or Jeff Corwin or the late Steve Irwin to get one of those. Be right back, gonna go practice my Aussie accent. "G'Day Mate! Let's all go watch Hugh Jackman films and listen to Kylie Minogue!" Perfect, nailed it.

More From KICK FM, #1 For New Country