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My Best Christmas Presents Ever

Kevork Djansezian, Getty Images

I know that as an adult I’m now supposed to say that Christmas is about celebrating the birth of Christ and being friendly with my fellow human beings. That’s all fine and dandy, but you know and I know that when you’re a kid it’s all about the materialistic gifts we want.  You can deny it, but I think we both know that’s true. 

My parents were always really generous to me at Christmas.  They probably felt guilty about giving me red hair.  I didn’t mind, cause I got toys.  Here are some of my faves from over the years:

I know the current generation loves their Madden on the PS3′s and XBox 360′s…but in my day, it was all about tiny little red dots on a tiny little screen that we pretended were steroid-infused football players.

Yes, another football-inspired gift.  This one I received from my uncle who I was named after (middle name).  It was a football game (called “Talking Football”) where one kid picked the play on one side of the little “record”…and the other kid chose the defense on the flip side…then you pushed the record into the talking football player and it portrayed the play as if it were happening on the radio.  Hard to explain?  Yes.  Fun to play?  Absolutely.

This was both my one of my favorite gifts and also one of my biggest disappointments.  It was the short-lived (literally) Coleco Adam Computer.  It’s programs came on cassette tapes (not making this up).  Great idea except it didn’t work.  At all.  As in Christmas morning, excited little redheaded kid (me) opens computer…and then realizes it doesn’t work.  That’s one of the first things I’ll tell Dr. Phil when I inevitably get interviewed.

This was the mother lode.  My parents got me this smoking stereo right before I became a teenager.  Let’s pretend that my first 8-track tape (yes, 8-track tape) was not a Bay City Rollers album even though it was.  Fortunately, one of my friends helped me see the light…and a new music genre was introduced into my household.  (Note:  it wasn’t country)  I think my parents forever regretted this purchase because I tended to crank this stereo up to biblical levels of volume that only nearby airports could drown out.  I think to this day, my mother’s ears still ring to the medley of “Back In Black”.

What about you?  Any gifts in your past that we should know about?  Any favorites you care to share?

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