I was happy to hear that the Mars Rover successfully landed on (of all places) Mars. Now that the rover is safely on the red planet, perhaps the super-smart scientist people that got that done could help us solve some local problems.

  1. How is it possible to drive 30 mph through Marblehead? Even in my tiny little Flintstone car, it defies the laws of physics to go from 55 mph to 30 mph in the span of fifty feet.
  2. Can you scientific smart people please invent some kind of bird feed that will keep the pigeons from dumping on the back window of my car every other day. Is pigeon Metamucil an impossible dream?
  3. How about this? If someone has it in their DNA to crank their radio up at the stop light with their window down, can you please mandate that they at least play GOOD music?!? There has to be some scientific contraption that can prohibit the "windows down" crowd at the stoplight from listening to the worst rap song ever created (which in my opinion is all of them).

There you go Mars Rover scientists. Your work is cut out for you. We would appreciate your assistance. Is there any local project that you would like the Mars scientists to solve? If so, comment below and we'll pass it along.