I hope you had an outstanding weekend, cause it's Monday. And, well...it's Monday. There's a good chance you'll need all the positive vibes from the weekend to propel you through my seventh favorite day of the week...Monday. I've come up with a list of things I like to do on Monday to help me forget it's Monday. Perhaps there's something in my scrapheap of thoughts that can help you deal with this day. Or perhaps not.

  1. Name the cows I see next to highways 61 and 172 after past presidents and congressmen.  It helps when I can imagine that politicians are cattle instead of actually passing laws that are killing our freedoms.
  2. Pretend my co-workers are actually cast members from Jersey Shore...although my boss apparently is not amused by being referred to as "The Situation".
  3. Curl up in the fetal position in the corner of the room and cry out to my mommy who's name I refer to as "Tuesday".  I ask her to please come rescue me from Monday as quickly as she possibly can.
  4. Call my cousin Matt Holliday, left fielder for the St. Louis Cardinals and ask him why he doesn't have us over for dinner more often.  (Note:  I don't really do this.  This is just another blatant attempt to make people believe that I'm related to him)
  5. Arrange an elaborate in-studio broadway play using only available office equipment similar to what they did on Gilligan's Island on the one episode.

By the way, did I mention that originally Mr. and Mrs. Howell didn't have names on Gilligan's Island?  Here's proof:

Oh yeah.  That's the other thing I do on Monday.  Watch obscure YouTube videos about Gilligan's Island.  Hopefully your Monday turns out OK.  As for me, it's time to get back to naming the cows.