We were shocked, SHOCKED, when Tom Pajic, QU Football coach announced his resignation earlier this week. Though we understand his reasoning to be closer to family. We can't fault him for that. So to help the Hawks find a new coach, I've compiled a shortlist of candidates I hope they'll consider.

O'Shea Brothers

OK! We all know that Kevin O'Shea is the football brains of the brothers. He's a Heisman winner for crying out loud (granted, so is OJ, but Ed O'Neill never killed anyone). But Danny knows the fun of the sport, and with that goofy little nerd kid at his side, his leadership of the Little Giants led the scrappy underdogs in a defeat of the much more athletic and talented Pee-Wee Cowboys. Since it's One Town, One Team, I say let them co-coach.

Eric Taylor

You listen to me. Coach Taylor was always tough. But always got results. And always got the best out of his players. Whether coaching the Dillon Panthers or the East Dillon Lions or whatever Philly high school he was coaching in the finale. HEY! Temple's in Philly. So let's just do a one-for-one trade. Philadelphia gets Pajic, we get Taylor. Boom, problem solved. Clear eyes, full hearts...

Molly McGrath

Sure it's SUPER dated 30 years on, but no one believed in her, including the team. And no one believed in the team. But she led them to victory. You can't argue with results.

Hayden Fox

Let's look at his record. MNC Championship in '93. NFL Playoff appearance in '96. His former Offensive Coordinator, Dauber, who would become head coach of the Orlando Breakers, later had back-to-back Super Bowl wins. So he knows how to surround himself with good people. Actually, can we get Dauber? Both Fox and Dauber. Plus they're both the only ones with college football experience.

Gordon Bombay

"BUT BRODIE! He's a hockey coach!" I know, and shut up. He's the Minnesota Miracle Man. Show some respect. He was a lawyer doing community service when he took the District 5 pee-wee hockey team, turned them into the Ducks, won the championship over his old team The Hawks (suck it Reilly), and subsequently took the Ducks to the Junior Goodwill game where they defeated the heavily favored Team Iceland. If anyone can get QU to a championship, it's Bombay.