If there's one universal truth out there, it's that Ninjas are freakin' cool! Maybe not for the bad guys on the receiving end of a ninja star. But ninjas are so cool, they made us buy books, TV shows, movies video games, and action figures about turtles. And now you could be a real life, honest to god ninja.

Kind of. You can't just walk off the street and be a ninja. Who do you think you are, Mark Wahlberg in Invincible? NOPE! You've gotta have the ninja chops to be a real ninja. That's years of martial arts training. Fortunately there are ninja schools you can attend to develop your skills in martial arts and weapons to become a full fledged ninja.

But the town of Iga, Japan, which claims to be the birthplace of ninjas, and hosts ninja festivals to boost tourism, is in the throws of a ninja shortage, which is a pretty bad shortage to be in the throws of. They even offer a fairly good salary for being a ninja, but people still aren't flocking to the ninja trade. Part of that is changing demographics and increased urbanization, part of that is their low unemployment rate. Whatever the reason, they're finding themselves at a lack of ninjas.

I think it's only fair that I offer my services. I shall attend ninja school, learn the ways, and become a master ninja. I'll even keep a pet rat and/or turtles to keep me company whilst I train.

Fare-thee-well, Quincy and KICK-FM. I'm off to get my ninja on.