Clement C. Moore's Christmas classic 'A Visit From St. Nicholas,' more commonly known as 'Twas The Night Before Christmas,' has been around for roughly 8 billion years. Or 179... depending on how accurate your math is. Which means it's time for an update. Or at least a mash-up with another Christmas tale that is equally classic. I'm talking of course about Die Hard. It's the classic Christmas tale of a the right guy in the wrong place at the wrong time. Luckily I wrote a version that outlines the plot of Die Hard, and I shall recite it for you below. Maybe listen to this AFTER you've read the original to the kids and they've settled snug in their beds.

Or listen WITH your kids so you can introduce them to the timeless classic that is Die Hard, without having to expose them to graphic violence, rough language, and gratuitous nudity that was mandatory in 80s films. Sort of like a Die Hard with training wheels.