Unless you have been living under a rock and/or ignoring me for the past nine months, you probably know that my wife is about to give birth to a baby. And, if you have been ignoring me, please send me a note and help me learn how to do it. It would make my life much simpler.

This is child number six in the Holliday household, so over the years, I've learned a few things about how this is done.  (Don't worry, I won't be including any diagrams)  I'm talking about how guys deal with the pain of pregnancy and childbirth.  Notice I said pregnancy AND childbirth.  If you're a guy that is about to go down this road, you need to know that you have nine months of...um...enjoyment...yes enjoyment is the word I wanted to use....awaiting you.  Here are a few things to keep in mind.

  1. You don't know how much pain your wife is going through, so don't pretend that you do.  You might think you're making her feel better by trying to identify with her.  Unless you've hatched a watermelon out of your foot, you don't.
  2. Be prepared to be wrong...a lot.  You think you already know what it's like to be wrong?  Well, you're wrong again cause you're about to be wrong a lot more.  About everything.
  3. The chocolate cake section at Wal-Mart and/or the grocery store is your friend.  Get to know the bakers.  You will be sent there to talk to them a lot.
  4. Make sure you have a spare bed to sleep in.  As the nine months goes along, the pregnant one will get hotter and hotter.  Trust me.  You don't want to be the one responsible for her being even hotter.
  5. Have an escape plan.  Make sure you are always the one sitting closer to the door.  Having good running shoes helps too.
This is the look I get when I'm in trouble. I get this look a lot.

The good news is there is no greater joy that you'll experience in your life than the precious life that waits on the other end of this journey.  Just remember..when asked, just assume you are wrong.  You'll more than likely be right.