There’s so much gold on the WCIL Scanner Radio Facebook page that it’s hard to keep up with it all. I mean, there was kid over at QHS that swallowed a whole ghost pepper. The guy who got in a fight with his refrigerator on St. Patrick’s Day. And who can forget naked sword man?

But a post from this week may be my new favorite.

Shortly after 11:00 pm on October 5, police were called to the Days Inn Budget Host Inn Welcome Inn at 200 Maine Street in response to a man running around the parking lot with a taser. Bizarre, sure. But the description puts it over the top.

“He looks like Willie Nelson.”

Getty Images

Okay, NOW we’ve got something! See, that’s what I want from the WCIL Scanner Facebook page; long-haired, frail, taser-wielding, guitar-slingin’ hippy vigilantes singing “To All The Girls I’ve Loved Before” with Julio Iglesias. This is how I imagined it went down, anyway.

There’s not much more to add here. QPD arrived on the scene, found a guy matching the description on the second floor, and signaled “no problem” on the scanner. Crisis averted.

Anyway, take it away, Toby!