OK so here's the situation. A few months back I had to go to the hardware store for some screws. I was hanging shelves. I made an offhanded joke about the weird candies and snacks you find at hardware stores. Then the other night I had to back to the hardware store, this time for a rake and some ice-melt (not connected, I just happened to need both those things). And I made another offhanded joke about wanting to do some grocery shopping while I was there. And that leads us to here. Where I rank our area hardware stores based on their food aisles. So let's make like Weird Al and go to the Hardware Store.

1 - Menards

Menards wins straight up, they have a mini-grocery store in there. Complete with a dairy cooler. If you eat simply, you could do MOST of your shopping there. I say most, because you're obviously not getting fresh meats or produce there. But it's an option.

 

Menards Food

2 - Farm & Home Supply

They've got about two lanes of food, and score massive points for the uniqueness of the foods, as well as the jarred goods. Not to mention jarring supplies, if you're so inclined to jar your own preserves or olives or whatever else comes in a jar.

Farm & Home Supply Food

3 - Ace Hardware

Ace may be the place with the helpful hardware folks, but their food selection is somewhat lacking. But they do get points for having unique selections, particularly Cow Tails. You don't see those around much. Kudos to them.

4 - Lowes & Home Depot

TSM Photo

The two major national brands tie for fourth because they have a few snack type things up front at check out, but they're all the major brands of chips and candy. Nothing too outlandish.

6 - Harbor Freight

Dead last because they have nothing. Nada. Zilch. Unless you want to eat a hacksaw. I wouldn't recommend that.

Thanks to all the employees of these places who didn't pay close enough attention to the weird guy wandering around your stores, taking pictures of your food, and then leaving without buying anything. I mean, I could have explained it to security, but why go through all the hassle?