Really? Are we still falling for the whole "Famous Celebrity Broke Down in Tiny Midwest Town" thing? This is a "news story" that will just Die Hard. I thought we settled this back when Jennifer Aniston wasn't in Quincy (she was actually in Pittsfield two months later, though).

According to wtsg24.com, which is not news, just a bunch of Pulp Fiction, Bruce Willis was driving through Keokuk, then had a Sixth Sense about his car, that it was starting to breakdown. Then other cars pulled up behind him, offered the services of their cousin who owns a tow truck, who took it to a shop about 16 Blocks away and restored it to it's previously Unbreakable condition. I'm sure fake Bruce Willis is eternally grateful to this fake Last Boy Scout who helped him out. Here's a dramatic reenactment of how Bruce Willis' car breaking down in Keokuk MIGHT have happened, were this true:

The Fifth Element of this story that just makes it even more unbelievable, is that he said "Someday I’m going to retire and I’m moving to Keokuk, Iowa!" While I don't doubt that the people of Keokuk are nice, and I'm sure they'd go the Whole Nine Yards, or even The Whole Ten Yards, to help someone out, I doubt there are people who DON'T know who Bruce Willis is.

So while I laugh like a Jackal at the audaciousness of this story, let's keep a sharp eye out for any fake stories like this out there, and put a big RED X on them.

According to the WTSG 24 "About" section, "Most of the articles on wtsg24.com are works of fantasy or satire and are not true.  This website is meant for entertainment purposes only." So there you go. Don't believe WTSG. They're just the end of the world of factual information, an Armageddon of truth. When cruising the internet, always keep a sharp eye, like a Hudson Hawk, out for these fake news sites. No one wants to be the Last Man Standing in a battle of misinformation. Be a harbinger of GOOD information, because like G.I. Joe used to tell us, knowing is half the battle.