Ahoy! Shiver me timbers! Fetch me the rum! And other assorted pirate catchphrases. Tomorrow, September 19th is the annual Talk Like a Pirate Day that, despite my numerous petitions on Change.Org, still isn't a federally recognized one that I should be able to take off work. What if I change my religious affiliation to "The Sea"? They'd pretty much have to recognize it, right?

But that's a song for another time, what's a song, or sea shanty, for this time is that Long John Silver's is offering up a free deep fried Twinkie for National Talk Like A Pirate Day. And not just "A" Twinkie. LOTS of them. Enough for many, many people to have one.

Now, this doesn't do much for the people of Quincy, as our Long John Silver's was lost to Davy Jones' Locker three years and three days ago (exactly, according to this news article). However, we are in luck. Turn a weary head toward the horizon, unfurl the main sails, and set course for Hannibal, Keokuk, Macomb, or Jacksonville. X marks the spot of those locations as buried deep within the fryers are delicious delicious gold. Gold in the form of fried Twinkies. You know... traditional pirate food.

Yo Ho Hoist the Colors, never shall we die... until the inevitable fried-Twinkie-induced heart attack takes us.